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Thursday, December 14, 2006


so the other day i went to morgantown west virginia to sell a RAINBOW.

I'm in the house learing about another family trying to make thier dreams come true. I show them the complementary air purifier. I find out about them that they have a friend who hunts squirrels and stops by afterwards to ask you to skin them because he doesn't know how. He then proceeds to pull a fucking huge one from a plastic bag. I suck up a pitcher full of water and put all the cushions from their couch in a plastic bag and shrink wrap it. I find out that they are related to someone who goes to the "Lighthouse Church" in my hometown. They find out about me the fact the I no longer go to church. I show them a 16 year warranty plan.

They don't buy, and they ask me if they can say a prayer while I pack up and leave.

"um, I don't really...well, I guess so."

They all get in a circle around me and other ones come from other parts of the house and they all close their eyes. the mother start speaking.

"Dear Heavenly Jesus please let us give thanks to you for all that you have blessed us with.
Dear Jesus let us give thanks for this very informational evening and God (REACHES OUT AND TOUCHES MY HEAD.)

Jesus....Please heal Collen's allergies.....in your name we pray Jesus Christ ....AMEN.
I Leave.

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